As a therapist and psychiatrist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people on their healing journeys. Each path is unique, shaped by life’s challenges, strengths, and the personal meaning we attach to them.
One question I often hear is:
“Do we have to talk about the pain?”
The answer is: sometimes.
The Role of Pain in Healing
Pain has a way of demanding our attention, whether we acknowledge it or not. When it’s been dismissed, minimized, or denied, stopping to see and validate it can be a powerful act of self-compassion.
That said, therapy isn’t about dwelling on pain or letting it define you. Instead, it’s about deciding what role it plays in your story and determining how to move forward.
Here’s how I see it:
Acknowledging pain is about giving yourself permission to say, “Yes, this hurt, and it matters.”
Focusing on pain can sometimes leave you feeling stuck, reinforcing feelings of helplessness rather than empowering growth.
Therapy can be a space for both—recognition and growth—depending on what you need.
Meeting You Where You Are
No single approach to therapy works for everyone. Healing is not a one-size-fits-all process.
My role is to meet you where you are and help you move toward where you want to be.
Sometimes, that means starting with the pain and giving it a name. Other times, it’s about looking ahead and identifying small steps toward a better future. Often, it’s about weaving these two threads together:
Honoring the past while building the future.
Acknowledging challenges while amplifying strengths.
Exploring the hurt while creating hope.
The Balance Between Acknowledging and Focusing on Pain
Acknowledging pain means creating space to understand its impact without letting it take over. It’s a vital part of the healing process:
It validates your experience.
It releases the weight of self-blame.
It offers clarity.
But focusing too much on the pain can make it harder to move forward. Therapy works best when we find the right balance for you—when we honor the pain while also discovering what’s already working in your life and what’s possible next.
A Flexible Approach: No One Size Fits All
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that no single theory or technique is the answer for everyone. Every person brings a unique set of needs, goals, and experiences to therapy.
That’s why I take an integrative approach, blending different methods to meet you where you are:
For those feeling overwhelmed by the past, we might explore solution-focused techniques to identify small, actionable steps.
For those feeling invalidated, we might spend time acknowledging and processing pain to create space for healing.
For most people, it’s a dynamic mix that evolves as their needs and goals change.
You’re the expert on your life. My role is to guide, support, and adapt the process to help you get where you want to go.
Your Healing Journey, Your Way
Healing isn’t about following one prescribed method or avoiding certain topics. It’s about creating a space where you feel safe, seen, and supported. It’s about starting where you are, building on your strengths, and moving toward a future you envision.
Whether you’re ready to explore past hurts, focus on your strengths, or simply take one step at a time, therapy is a collaborative process that centers on your unique needs and goals.
Ready to Begin?
Wherever you are on your journey, know that it’s okay to start from exactly where you are. Whether we begin by acknowledging the pain or envisioning a brighter future, the most important thing is to take that first step.
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